How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
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Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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