My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Randomize
