Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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