Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Randomize
