why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
