craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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