he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
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There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
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I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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