How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
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he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come share oat with me in your robe
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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