i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
