Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
