Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
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I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
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Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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