My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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