i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
