just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.