there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
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I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
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Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."