you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.