I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize