love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
