just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
