i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I've blown a few things in my day
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Randomize
