She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
