he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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