i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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