I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Fuck appropriateness.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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