wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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