He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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