is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
