marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
