why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
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