i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Randomize