Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
honey bunches of taint.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
