You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
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I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
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I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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