he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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