I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
