lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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