She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
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She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
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I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
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