"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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