also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
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