Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
