If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
