glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize