come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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