Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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