An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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