And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
