No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
