Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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