The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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