you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
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