When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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