Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
