Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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