see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize