You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
