He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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