Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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