don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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